Surviving Our Anger
‘Anger dwells in the bosom of fools’
ALBERT EINSTEIN (1856-1939)
physicist & all round genius
For many people their anger is something to be feared. At some point they may have been told they have anger issues, maybe their anger has caused them some shame or embarrassment. Now lets not get confused between anger and violence, they do not always go hand in hand. For the many people mainly women according to our stasticics living in fear as a result of anger or violence is indeed one of the most frightening and harrowing experiences anyone can go through. It is usually an experience that is long lived and takes great courage to change or even escape from. I am talking today about your normal run of the mill anger, something that lives in all of us and yet something that we have never really made friends with or got to know on an intimate basis.
‘For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind”
RALPH WALDO EMERSON, Amercican essayist, philosopher and poet
Sometimes we spend a lot of times avoiding our anger, avoiding confrontation, living in fear that people might know our inner most awful thoughts about them. If only she knew what I was really like. Anger can be like a very difffcult weed if not treated, it tends to grow in all kinds of places, develop a guilty conscience that keeps it growing in the orifices of the mind get greyer and greyer by the day.
I wonder have any of us really learned how to manage our anger and accept that anger can be a very healthy emotion if expressed with care and compassion. How do we actually do that????? Isn’t all anger bad? I am very interested in healthy normal anger. The kind of anger that takes a step back and breathes, the kind that has an humane energy about it, the type that can rise and fall with our breath, the kind that opens the door and welcomes anger in and offers it a seat.
“‘It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt
Playwright & Author MARK TWAIN (1835-1910) “
also a philospher of some reknown TWAIN also famously opined “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured” something to think about, isn’t it?
The kind of anger that is open to support, to listening, to speaking. This kind of anger is supported anger not controlled anger. It is not a pressure cooker waiting to explode but a saucepan that bubbles away at the correct temperature and is ready to be taken off the heat.
Usually someone notices our anger when it gets in the way and causes problems, it is usually at the stage of hurt and shame and then it is a problem. Meet your anger in the morning, check you mood if its off kilter support yourself take time for that cup of tea or coffee. Don’t walk around on empty it leads to a bad mood and later bad decision making. Refuel often on food, love, kindness and compassion. Know you limits say no thank you, learn to step away. You are better able to measure you own temperature that have someone make a diagnosis for you mid rage.
If you stand still long enough anger can be met curiously, politely, knowingly and there is then time for support in the right direction to your own self.
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